Is it the End of the World as We Know It?

R.E.M. never fails to disappoint my dazed mind

A couple of days ago we were at a market and got chatting to a lady who had a jewelry stand. She’d been living in London for the past twenty years but returned to South Africa this year accompanied by her British husband. Lockdown hit her business hard, she was doing very well for herself and had purchased a house in London. But then, as businesses began opening their doors again, her and her husband decided it was time to bid the British Isles farewell and put their hopes in South Africa.

“I left South Africa because of apartheid and all the residual racism in this country, and now I’ve come back because I am fleeing a different kind of apartheid.” She went on to tell us of friends who had died shortly after being vaccinated, of vaccine passports in full swing and of segregated queues in supermarkets that discriminate the unvaccinated (in Germany, apparently and ironically). She spoke of the vaccine passports soon becoming an app on your phone and then a barcode on your hand. And of course, as I listen to her, it harkens back to those terrifying Left Behind movies and all the terrible predictions I’d gobbled up as a child about the “End Times”. I thought I’d left all this crazy shit behind!

“Read Revelations!” she calls out to us as we walk away, desperately trying to escape – what exactly? The truth? The fanaticism? The voice of God? The doomsday prophet?

I hate to admit it, but all the signs are pointing to something, something menacing that lurks in that dreaded final book of the bible.

Are the End Times real? Is the Bible true? Did someone really see into the future? And who are the real believers that will be denied the buying and selling of goods because they refuse this “mark of the beast”? Who is this beast? What is the One World Order? Is there already a mark?

I mean, let’s be honest here, Christian or not, anti-vaxxer or not, right-wing or not, we all feel uneasy. Life is changing, has changed. It does feel like there is someone in the background pulling the strings, getting the entire planet to stand in line. There is a uniformity in the way we are being corralled for the purpose of the greater good and it is alarming how swiftly and effectively protocols are put in place, even in the far reaches of this planet.

We are constantly observed, from our phones to our credit cards. Do we even know what “off the grid” really means and is this even a possibility?

I sound like a doomsayer, a hick, a nut – I know.

But, if you really take a moment to think about it, I am sure you can see some evidence out there that would back up these seemingly crazy predictions of mass control and tyranny, right?

And there I was, thinking I had “left it all behind”.

Anyway, if it really comes down to trial and tribulation, apocalyptic cyber control and the salvation of all true believers, then the one thing I wonder is, who are the true believers? The people who pray to Jesus or the people who stand up for truth and freedom for all of mankind?

What do you think? Leave a comment, I really want to know.

You should write a book

A preamble

“You should write a book.” This is what people tell me… all… the… time. And I nod in agreement because I know someone should. I am just not sure that someone is me.

I wasn’t ready

But… I started a blog, winging it for real , as an outlet for my overwhelming emotions and mental turmoil shortly after leaving Alon and it helped me. It probably would have helped me even more if I had consistently put my thoughts down in writing but life got in the way and at some point I decided to just lay it all to rest and focus on the here and the now. It hurt too much to keep re-hashing the past. Like scratching open an old wound just before it’s had a chance to heal.

There were so many nights that I cried myself to sleep mourning the loss of an entire existence, the crushing absence of people who were more family to me than my own blood relatives. And knowing that I couldn’t go back and I couldn’t stay in touch even with those, who like me, had chosen to leave. There were just too many triggers, I knew that I had to make a clean break in order to give my mind a chance to recalibrate.

But, truth be told, I am ready to look back now without moving backwards. I think that’s possibly the key. I can think about things without spiraling into entrenched thinking patterns and emotions that affect my very physical being.

Sept’ 2020… I guess my subconscious has been speaking to me for a while…

Is it my story to tell?

There is something else that has held me back – I am afraid of hurting people. First and foremost, I am afraid of hurting my husband and children by making our story public. I am afraid of hurting the many people that played a role in this tale of control and deception. But, it’s time to let that brain trap go too. Because as much as this is a story that belongs to dozens of people, it is my story too and I have the right to share it if that’s what I feel I should do.

And I do want to share it. I have spoken openly about my past to so many people because there is power in that. Truth and transparency are formidable forces. And I am by no means ashamed of where I have come from. My experiences have made me who I am today – as banal as that may sound, it is nevertheless the truth.

It’s important to remember that this is merely one version of the story – mine. If there is one thing I have learned, it’s that there are always two sides to every story and in this case you can make that about two hundred. So, if you don’t agree with the way I am recounting the events then you are entitled to your opinion. I am sure I will get things muddled up because memory is a fickle thing.

Anyway, for whatever reason, I know I won’t be able to fully rest until I have regurgitated twenty years of my life and hung them out to dry in fully formed sentences. Maybe it’s because this experience of living in a cult is far from an anomaly, and people need to be more aware of the pitfalls of controlling groups. Maybe it’s because I need to process this properly. Or maybe there is someone out there that will benefit from reading this. Perhaps I am just tired of nodding and afraid that if I keep at it I might just nod right off to sleep.

I don’t know anything about writing books though, so now I am writing a blog (of which I also know very little about!)

What’s with the new site?

So, I set up this new site, specially dedicated to telling a story and specially set aside for those of you that are truly interested. I have decided to make most of the content subscription based simply because I feel safer sharing this information with people who really are interested and in a way, I feel it is a way of showing respect to the the sanctity and humanity of the events that took place. I am not doing this to name and shame or to cause a stir.

Many of the names have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved. Some names remain unchanged because the nature of their origin serves the story.

I invite you to join me now and step back in time…

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